iceblueyes

Realize

Sat, 05 Nov 2011 14:59:03 GMT

Happy Halloween everyone. It's been a while that I've wrote something. Just wanna release my feelings. Oh and Kevin "Kay" Lee, this one's for you.

Watching him from a far as he seriously read his book put a small smile on my face. How his bangs fall from his eyes, his hazel eyes casually reading the words which I knew that he had known so many words just by reading so many books. The way he lift his hand to turn the page. The way he sighs and made me think he didn't like the situation of the book that he's reading. The way he smiles wryly on the part that he is reading that made it interesting or maybe it was a romantic scene and the way he grew serious...again.

Looking at him right now I couldn't explain why a part of me has such an effect on him. Well no romantic feelings involve but I just don't know why, couldn't explain why, and I don't understand why. I don't know...it's just that...there is something in him that made me draw towards him.

"I'm gonna melt if you gonna stare at me for another hour", he began as he turn another page of the book.

"Eh? Ehhhh?" I heard him smirking as I added, "You exaggerate too much". He smirk again as he put the bookmark on the book on where he stopped reading and looked at me with that grin on his face. "I-I told you not to do that..."

"Do what?" he said with that innocent look on his face but still grinning. "I didn't do anything, you know". Frustrated, I glanced back down on what I was writing and muttered, "I know". I heard him opening his book again as he continued reading and I sighed. A long time ago, I didn't want to let him go.

Hold on a minute. Hell and damnation! What the hell! What am I thinking all of a sudden? I carefully looked at his profile again as he continue reading his book. Yes, a long time ago I really didn't want to let him go. But he didn't feel the same way anymore, I thought as I continue to write on something. I thought once upon a time he felt the same way too and the sun, moon, and stars made our Earth collide.

"You are thinking too much", he said while reading his book.

"I'm writing something, that's all". He glanced from his book, his brow raised to what I said.

"Another fanfic again?"

"No...just something", I said with a smile and continue to write down the things that I've realized towards him. These are some of the things why I kinda like this guy in a way that I guess I kinda deny too.

1. I feel comfortable when I'm with him=I really don't know how he does it. He makes me want to say things that I rather want to keep to myself. He doesn't force me to say things I don't want to say but in the end I do tell him either way.

2. He's kind and gentle, like what every girl would fall for in a man and I think it's just his personality being kind and gentle that way. And you know girls like it when a man is a gentleman. They just couldn't resist.

3. It's how he makes me laugh and how he makes me smile in a way that sometimes he doesn't know. There are times that I'm down and the timing is that it's him that can makes me smile or he would say something that is funny, for me, and end up laughing.

4. I love his shyness. It's something that I found cute in him. How the girls adore him and how he finds it frustrating and how I loved to tease him about it and it ends up with him looking at me with a weird expression on his face telling me, "I don't want to be bothered by a nasty fan club", etc, etc. Oh dear, why doesn't he realize that he's an eye candy and not an eye sore, really?

I laughed when I wrote the fourth part and I earned a very weird glance from him as he said, "You're acting so strange. What are you writing, really?"

"N-Nothing. Just continue what you're reading", I said as I'm suppressing my giggles and continued to write.

5. And last but not the least it's the way he makes me feel: that I'm happy that I'm friends with him, I'm happy I get to share some memories with him and even though he wreak havoc in my..uh...brain and cardiovascular system, sometimes, I really don't mind. Somehow I always knew there's something in him that is different.

"Aha! Let me see that!" I heard a voice from behind me. I didn't even noticed that he was already at my back and he already got my paper.

"Now wait a second! Don't read that yet!" and we ended up chasing inside the room and ended up laughing as I chased after my paper.

End.

My Heart Says

Thu, 30 Jun 2011 04:33:23 GMT

It's kinda sad that I'll never be the same again. My heart had somehow succumb to it's loneliness for these past few weeks. Every time I think about what happened a month ago, my heart becomes so heavy I could stop breathing. I couldn't feel anything anymore but my eyes do the talking. I wanted to love again but this time my heart won't let me.

It's like if my heart was a person it tells me to be on my own because in the end we only need ourselves. I've told my heart to let go and love again but somehow it's being stubborn because it can still remember the painful words that he said. I told my heart that somehow he still feels the same way and I knew nothing change but my heart would just shut it's door and succumb to loneliness.

It's like my heart is saying, "You'll find happiness from being lonely". I want to be happy but my heart wouldn't let me.

Somehow my heart knew that he is my only cure and I told myself that if he is the only cure then you would let go but somehow my heart wouldn't want to. The depression of my left chest grows heavier and heavier each days and I doubt I would live long. As I'm biting back the tears I thought to myself that I wanted to live long but my heart could only feel numb and void at the same time.

I wonder if it's too late to save me. My heart doesn't want me to save my own self. What a pity, I've done everything I could to ease that pain. Somehow I've grown insensitive all because of him.

I just want to be happy but somehow my heart pulls me back to that dark room. I doubt if I can get out soon.

Words Left Unsaid

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 05:35:35 GMT

Dear Blog,

How very unfortunate I was disconnected by our net today. Rynn, Yihui, and I were talking about stuffs. Serious stuffs, if I'm correct. *sigh* I still feel bad about what happened last Monday, really. Apparently Cancerian people hate rejections and yeah I do agree about it.

As Rynn was yelling "Bitch" to release her anger [she's pissed off today], Yihui was yelling "Poo Face" and I was about to laugh to that when I stopped myself. Who am I kidding-myself?

I know, dear blog. I know I am very SENSITIVE. Hey, it's not like I didn't reconsider his feelings. I didn't want to tell Rynn cause a part of me is afraid of being judge. So I let Yihui did the explaining. I wished I didn't tell him that and somehow none of this would happen. I kinda put a wall the last time he and I talked. And I know he sensed it apparently because he is not dense.

Rynn told me not to keep my feelings to myself. I know that it's just that some people don't comprehend. Some people FAIL to comprehend even if they've already LISTENED. That's the reason why I rather chose to cry myself to sleep in the night rather than pour my feelings out to someone. Or rather write it all down. I fail at verbal but I'm good at explaining myself when I write it all down. I rather listen than talk. I'm a talkative person but if it's the other way around, I guess people would be shock that I'm more of a listener.

My best friend somehow studied my Zodiac sign. She told me her perception about it. A crab has a shell and somehow when we get hurt we go back to our shell to protect ourselves. Lo and behold: she's right.

As I looked at his picture right now [the one I really like XD], I smiled wryly to myself. A little hurt on what happened last Monday but it's fading already.

Watching his calm, cool, and collected profile right now made me realized that I guess those were the reasons why I loved him before and how it took me a year to forget him. There were times that I'll look up on the ceiling late at night and cry when I think of him but I cried that time when Rynn told me he was in a coma. I prayed hard to God that night hoping he'll be better as soon as possible. That time my heart feels so heavy, I thought I was gonna stop breathing.

Ah right, breathe. Lord, please help me to breathe like the normal breathing. This is not really a big problem unlike my boyfriend but it's difficult when the matter is about him. I'm hurt for a reason. Hey, I'm a H-U-M-A-N B-E-I-N-G after all. Get it?

Rynn asked me if I dislike him. I don't dislike him. If I dislike him I wouldn't let myself be close to him but that's the problem now right? I can't be close to him. He wouldn't let me and I know there's a thin line that can't be crossed.

Long ago he and I were so compatible with each other but I guess that would only be a memory now long forgotten. I do admit he means a lot to me that sometimes I don't want to show it cause I don't want to be rejected. Everything had somehow changed though life goes on one more time.

I guess I just missed the old K. Of course he was gentle, which Rynn kinda asked about it. He kinda treated me like a glass, afraid that I would break into a million of pieces, somehow. He told me I was fragile. It's not that I don't like the K now it's just that...*explanation failed* never mind. Better leave it hanging. =.=

And why is it I dreamt of him four times? FOUR TIMES?! You got to be kidding me. Oh and how he loves to tell me with that teasing smile on his face saying, "You think about me too much". Oi, oi, oi...stop teasing me. I'll have to ask God why you keep invading my dreams...>_>

K, if you are reading this I just want to say I'm sorry for bringing up the topic. I already knew you would decline. Don't worry, it was fine. I comprehend.

I guess some words were left unsaid, after all.

Ice, logging off.

June 15, 2011
11:14p.m.

Bittersweet

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 03:59:06 GMT

Dear God,

I just realized the song Bittersweet by Within Temptation was given by him. Ugh.

Why, why, why, why, WHY do You have to make me vulnerable to such feelings? I missed him more than ever and I can't believe I just blurted out to him that I love him. But why must he be insensitive to such feelings like love? It breaks my heart even more.

If he told me that he'll never tell me how he felt about me anymore and will tell me when the day that we will meet, then I guess that would be the last time I'll tell him I love him. Am I just the only one making this relationship work? I really need his cooperation but I guess...*sigh*I guess I've lost him. He promised me that I'll never lose him. Please don't say promises are always meant to be broken.

I don't know what to do anymore. My eyes go misty whenever I think of him. Whenever I stay away, he's there trying to pull me back or whatsoever. I don't understand him at all: it's like he pushes me and pulls me back.

I know I asked for Your help to make me strong and I'm doing the best that I can. All I want is for him to open up to me. Please Lord...please...I couldn't ask anything more for him to talk to me again.

I feel like a damsel in distress really and it sucks. It sucks that I show to everybody everyday that I'm okay and all that stuff when deep inside I'm not okay at all. I feel like there's a deep cut inside me and nobody can stitch it back except You and I guess him too.

I think...I think it's better if I stay away from him for a while. He wouldn't be hurt of my absence. I know cause he told me he doesn't feel pain anymore so I don't have to worry. He's strong anyway.

I'll have puffy eyes again. *sigh*

Happy Birthday Robert Carrizales

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 16:35:47 GMT

Dear Robert,

I think you'll never find this blog of mine no matter how many years had passed. Well, that's okay. Maybe at that time we had our own families and maybe It was just never us.

I remember the time it was the year 2009, on how you shyly told me you had a so-called-crush on me. I know it's kind of rude but I somewhat don't believe it that time. I remember I keep ignoring your messages whenever I'm in school as I open my YM and I feel sad that you've waited for hours for me to get online. That time I didn't quite know our time difference. I ignored your messages in a sense that my friends were just beside me reading them. I'm really sorry. I'm really not that mean not to reply. I did replied afterwards.

And I think it was the month of November or December when you told me you had fallen in love with me. My eyes widened as I read your confession on the screen. It was somewhat funny that you fell in love with me. Funny because I'm not beautiful, I'm not that smart, I'm somewhat stupid at times I openly admit, and I'm not the girlfriend material that you think of.

At that time you knew I was getting rid of my feeling because of someone and at that time I thought you were still in love with your best friend that you have waited to reciprocate your feelings for so long.

But how you made me fall for you that I would never know. Maybe because of the way you made me smile when I'm busy making my thesis late at night. Maybe because of the way you keep me company and making me forget my problems, or maybe it's the way you touch my heart before I knew it.

And after that I fell for you too but that time I tried to keep my feelings. Maybe because it was infatuation that I just felt. The time you confessed to me was the time I told you not to fall in love with me because you'll only hurt yourself in the end. And I don't want that. I told you to look for a girl there who suites your perfection. But you really have to chose me in the end won't you?

Why am I writing these entries of you anyway when you won't even get the chance to read them? Maybe because I'm the type of person who fails to express more through verbal and ends up writing them. I love you...but I know I have to stop now cause a part of you doesn't want to anymore. But believe me I didn't have any regrets at all. Nothing.

I wished you more happiness, strength, and more blessings as the years would have gone by and to your family as well. Don't stop pursuing your dreams on whatever dream you want to reach. May God bless you always.

A toast to your celebration.

Cheers,

Lariza

I Think God Can Explain

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 05:30:38 GMT

Dear God,

If I'm not writing this I probably curling on my bed now as I continue to cry. Nothing hurts more knowing that maybe...maybe this time he doesn't love me anymore...

There's a lot of things I understand
  And there's a lot of things that
  I don't want to know
  But you're the only face I recognize
  It's so damn sweet of you
  to look me in the eyes

I tried to reach him today but what hurts the most is when he retreats from me...slowly. I guess this is the day that I'm so afraid of knowing that he doesn't love me anymore...

It's alright, I'm okay
  I think God can explain
  I believe I'm the same
  I get carried away
  It's alright, I'm okay 
  I think God can explain
  I'm relieved I'm relaxed
  I'll get over it yet

My friend Hui asked me what would I do now. Like find a new boyfriend or something but I guess You knew better that even if I find someone new he'll remain in my heart. So it's better to be alone than loving someone else and knowing he's still in my heart.


The scent of Vaseline in the summertime
The feel of an ice cube melting overtime
The world seems bigger than both of us
Yet it seems so small when I begin to cry

I told him that maybe he doesn't love me anymore and I told him that maybe right now he's happy. Before I broke up with him he said something that he doesn't feel pain anymore and he knows how to cope up of things and that made him free. It made me realized that even though how many times he told me he loves me I think to sum it all up maybe a part of him wants to be free.

It's all right. I'm okay
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's all right, I'm okay
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it yet

And then he told me he won't tell me what he feels for me anymore and he said when he and I will meet someday maybe he might. I told him it doesn't matter. I fully understand and thank him...

I didn't detailed why I thank him. I thank him for everything: for his love, for the way he comforts me whenever I have problems, for wiping my tears away, for all the encouragement he gave me. God, I couldn't asked for a better man than him. But sad to say he's going away. And I guess I should too...

I'm so much better than you guessed
I'm so much bigger than you guessed
I'm so much brighter than you guessed

I couldn't describe the hurt anymore. God, must it always end this way? I know I was stupid of letting him go that day but I didn't let go of him yet...not now...maybe not ever. But if he's happy when I'm gone then believe me I won't bother him anymore, seriously.

It's all right, I'm okay
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's all right, I'm okay
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it yet

Dear God

Sat, 04 Jun 2011 18:59:38 GMT

Dear God,

It's already 2a.m. and the date is June 5, 2011 and I wished I could talk to you face to face right now. I don't know why but when it comes to falling in love I feel like a fool. I've already talked to my friends and all but somehow, you see, the pain is still there. I was hoping that as time passed You could ease my pain. But I still end up missing him all over again.

I've just listened to Jennifer Lopez's song All I Have and the line that struck me the most is "Don't make decisions when you're mad". I really didn't mean to break-up with him that May 31, 2011 but the way he talked about those three things made me realized I'm not the right girl for him, I guess.

He told me that every time he makes me happy he feels suffocated or closed off. I asked my friend Yihui Yeow about this on what she thinks cause this line sort of made my mind blank. She said maybe he had run out of ideas on making me happy. The saddest part is that what he didn't know is that I'm always happy...ALWAYS happy whenever I talk to him cause he's not here in the same country with me.

Second is that he told me he feels tired of making me happy every minute of every day. Does that mean he's tired of me already? *sighs heavily*

Third is that he wants to talk to me with no drama. Now that I thought of it love has always drama in it. It can't be happy all the time right God? I mean if it's happy all the time we wouldn't know how to know sadness and hurt.

So without thinking twice that day I broke up with him. I broke up with him because I was thinking that if I made him feel this way then I guess I'm not the right girl for him after all.

But how I wanted to be the right girl for him. I did everything to be perfect in his eyes. Is it wrong? Was I wishing too much? I only wanted someone to love me for being me and he did love me for who I am.

He loved me even though I'm not that pretty. He loved me even though I'm not that smart. He loved me for my clumsiness at times. He just loved me for who I am.

As I'm writing this I can't help but cry. You know me I was always a cry baby and no I'm not ashamed to say that. It's the truth anyway.God, what should I do? I've decided to let him go because...because...

Because I don't want him to feel closed off anymore. Because I don't want him to feel tired whenever he makes me smile. Because I don't want to put anymore drama because he hates it. Because I want him to be happy even if it's not with me.

I actually didn't want to tell this to my friends.I was thinking like "Would they understand? Would they care? Would they pity?" and so on and so forth. I closed my eyes and shut my brain for a while whenever I think about that.

My friend Kristine Alonso told me to pray and asked guidance from You but You know that in my heart I've always asked for Your help that's why I end up crying cause I don't know what to do anymore.

I love him and I guess I'll always will be. I admitted to him he was my first love because no matter how many times I let go, I just can't but he didn't believed it. He believed my first love was my knight, Kevin "Kay" Lee and my knight told me why I didn't explained it to him. I told him for someone who doesn't believe anything I say when I'm so serious he apparently needs no explanations.

I know it's mean. But what's more mean is that it was like a slap on the face when he said he didn't believe it.

I always sleep with a heavy heart these days. You know that right God? I sleep with tears falling from my eyes at night and even when I take a nap. I may talk to him like I-don't-love-and-care-about-you-anymore but deep inside I just wanna be with him again.

The question is "Does he still wanna be with me?"*sighs more*but if he doesn't want to believe me I won't forced him. I'll just move on and all. Life goes on, as always, even if we're hurting.

Please make me strong. I need Your help as always. You are the only one who can help me.

Love,

Anne

Just Read

Sun, 29 May 2011 14:39:37 GMT

Guys (and girls) must read this.

Boy: I broke up with her.

His Best Friend: What happened?

Boy: She’s just too much for me.

His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy: Well, she..

His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?

His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.

Hauntingly Familiar

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 01:40:29 GMT

Made by: Kimberly Kaye Javier Atuel

Posted on: June 25, 2010

Time: 2:56a.m.

Author's Notes:

An attempt in Poetic prose.
A story of fiction.
A song titled "Insensitive" by Jann Arden

p.s.,

�surprise, Michiyo-chan! �♥

p.p.s.,

Thanks to Gef Osorio for reminding me to credit the songtitle/singer.

◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘ ◘ ☼ ◘

... as I walked home, I had to pass a poorly lit, lonely row of houses.

As I was growing accustomed to what was around me,

I stopped to a hauntingly familiar song spilling out of an open window.

"Oh I really should have known.

By the time you drove me home,

By the vagueness in your eyes,

Your casual good-byes.

By the chill in your embrace.

The expression on your face.

That told me maybe you might have some advice to give

On how to be insensitive..."

The song was in the middle of a sad guitar rift... and I held my breath.

The melody touched me. The words whispered the truth.

And so, the dull ache in the pit of heart, throbbed with renewed pain.

I had to smile despite that. I had to continue on in my journey home.

Clutching my books harder against the hurt in my chest, I resumed my pace.

Even as the tune grew fainter, I would not permit it to resonate in my head.

I clouded my head with trivial things, with adult-like "matters of consequence",

with anything I could grasp out of thin air...

Yes, anything to keep the specters at bay.

No, it was not to be. For IT happened... again.

I end up stopping in my tracks, and held my breath as the sound grew louder.

At first I thought the song had managed to follow me after all...

I thought that despite my efforts my mind was singing my misery aloud.

Somehow, I am not suprised this not the first time I (un)willingly caused hurt on myself.

Just then, out of the corner of the street, a figure came forward to view.

"Oh you probably won't remember me,"

He sang, in a voice I'd know anywhere, in any lifetime...

It was a fellow young voice who also knew of dull aches and renewed pain.

"It's probably ancient history.

I'm one of the chosen few,

Who went ahead and fell for you.

I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch.

I fell too fast, I feel too much.

I thought that you might have some advice to giv� "

He stopped in his tracks, held his breath abruptly ceasing the song.

He looked at me. And only God knows how he interpreted what he saw.

Here I am, with my books as my shield, my narrowed eyes as my weapon.

I stood my ground even as his each step towards me threatened and overwhelmed.

And when the front of his shirt touched my blouses' sleeve, I icily finished for him.

"I thought that you might have some advice to give

On how to be insensitive..." I felt my eyes challenging him to answer.

He held out his hand like so many before him,

He held it out as if the dull pain never existed at all.

He held it before me ~ to tempt me, to guide me, to cajole me, to push me ~ I had no clue.

Feeling my lips traitorously quiver, I quickly angled my chin in a bold manner I did not feel.

Shaking his head, he unraveled my protective arms around myself.

And sang,

"How do you numb your skin,

After the warmest touch?

How do you slow your blood?

After the body rush? And with emphasis in his eyes, he continued.

" How do you free your soul

After you've found a friend?

How do you teach your heart it's a crime...

To fall in love again?"

I tried not to visibly swallow the ache as in formed into a lump in my throat...

Smiling, he tipped his Fedora struck me as a lifetime sort of farewell.

Like a whisper, he gently brushed passed me and continued on his way.

As he turned the corner and disappeared from my sight,

His singing voice remained clear and compelling in his wake.

It was hauntingly familiar tune...

It was my sad song.

And yet, he was singing too.

Dream

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 20:18:23 GMT

It's 12:15a.m.and I'm going home. I'm a little bit better. Is that true or is it I'm wishing myself to be better because I don't wanna be miserable?

I want you to be happy. All that matters to me is your happiness...

Before I left the house this afternoon I cried-hard. I looked at the mirror and shake my head in despair thinking, I must let it all out right now. There'll be no next time. I decided to put on make-up to conceal the tears that rolled down my cheeks and to conceal my puffy eyes. Lo and behold they didn't work because when I was done with my make-up my eyes were watery again. I knew I was never strong enough. Why couldn't I be strong enough?

Your words are the words which my ever dearest character Tomoyo Daidouji would say in my stories whenever she knew that she and Eriol Hiiragizawa aren't meant to be. I sighed heavilly. Not meant to be huh? Ah well...I didn't know I would be playing the role of Tomoyo Daidouji after all in a sense when she is paired up with Eriol, of course.

You were just a dream that I need to wake up. You were a good dream. You made me believe in fantasy for a while even though it's reality after all. You made me float into cloud nine that I thought I would never experience but then again I know I should come down to Earth sooner or later. And that's what hurts the most-this dream has got to end.

As I was passing by I heard a music from a bar and I stiffened cause somehow that music reminds me of you. A girl was singing it even though the song is meant for a guy to sing that song. It was a slow song and it was a sad one and a wry smile was on my lips when the girl sang myfavorite part of that song: the chorus.

Boy, I missed your kisses

All the time but this is

Twenty-five minutes too late

Though you've travelled so far

Boy, I'm sorry you're a

Twenty-five minutes too late...

Walking down the street right now I want to laugh on why I remember you whenever that song is played. And then I remember what I told you before you sang your sweet goodbye to me:

Why do you have to be so sweet? It makes me fall for you even more...

I sighed as I rode the jeepney and noticed I was the only passenger. It's past midnight after all. And all I could think was, I wonder if you really believe that or maybe you are doubting it. But whatever it is all I could say is that one way or another let's learn to let go of what's not ours especially if feelings are involve.

Ironically, my favorite song was stuck in my head. I wasn't thinking of the chorus, I was thinking of it's sub-chorus:

Oh you probably won't remember me

It's probably ancient history

I'm one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you

I'm really not the type of person to show my emotions so well and to show you how much you mean to me. Even though you were just a dream, believe it or not I didn't regret one bit that you were my dream.

I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch

I fell too fast, I feel too much

I knew I could live my life the way I did before I met you. I'm picking up all the pieces again. Sadly our road will never meet: you go this way and I go that way.

I thought that you might have

Some advice to give on how to be insensitive

But like what you said and like what Tomoyo Daidouji always tells Eriol Hiiragizawa on my stories: Your happiness is mine too...

You were a wonderful dream that I would love to remember...