Card Captor Sakura,Eriol,Tomoyo







iceblueyes
June 29th
Female
Cebu
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One of my favorite characters: Haruka Tenou also known as Sailor Uranus
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The hardest word to say is goodbye...[Rurouni Kenshin]
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One of my favorite anime's: Romeo X Juliet
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It's not what you think! [Gakuen Alice]
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Want to try dying this once? Let me show you what death is like...[Jigoku Shoujo]
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Kawaii! Chibi Bleach characters! [Bleach]
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I'm FALLING more in love with you! ahahaha...[Card Captor Sakura]
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A kiss that can calm your nerves...[Inu-Yasha]
   

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Aug 7, 2010
90% Happiness, 10% Depression

12:30p.m. That's what my watch says as I looked at it. I've got to finish this essay that our English teacher told us cause in the first place I hate essays. Second, I love making short stories. Heck, This essay doesn't make sense at all.

I didn't noticed that someone had already seated right in front of me until I hear her saying, "Yo! Mai!" she greeted. I stopped writing all of a sudden and looked at that person. A miracle. After four months later she had decided to talk to me.

I raised my brow and went back to what I was writing. "Is there something that you need?"

"Yeah. There is something that I want to confirm". She used her hand to cover it on the paper on I was writing. I see. So she wants my full attention eh? Tch, fine. I looked at her again with a bored expression.

"Nanda?"

"Why the hell you didn't tell me you were living for England?!" she exclaimed. I pushed her hand away as I resumed to what I was doing. "Answer me Mai!"

"First, why should I? We've been doing this silent treatment for four months".

"Now Mai-"

"Second, why would you care if I leave for England? Do you see me as an important person now?"

"Baka! You were an important person to me-"

"You find me important now because of the fact that I'm leaving?"I shot back. She sighed.

"You know that it's not true Mai", she said, her voice was like a whisper. I tried so hard not to flee from my seat then and there and go to a quiet place. Talking to Fumi now is not a good time. Like, I was contented for the silent treatment that she have given me and now she's talking to me before I leave for England! The nerve-"I was getting the impression that well, you know, you still hate me".

"Hate is a strong word", I replied as I wrote the next line for my essay.

"Angry then?"

"I've told you I've already buried that conversation we had months ago. Get it?" I was having mix emotions. I couldn't even concentrate on my essay anymore. Aw man! And my English class starts at 2:30p.m. Terrific!

I dropped my pen and focused my attention on Fumi. "So why would you attempt to talk to me now? Are you not happy I'm finally leaving here so that you don't have to see my face?!"

"Do I always look that bad to you?" she said, wincing.

"Iie demo you sure make things difficult. Imagine giving me a silent treatment for four months. You should have not talked to me then until I'll leave!"

"Hey, I'm lowering my pride here!"

"Oh yeah Miss Genius?! I've already done that months ago if you must know! And looks who's not talking back to me! Acting like cool and mighty!" I shot back. I sighed and cupped my right cheek with my hand and looked outside the window. "Fumi, you don't know me well at all".

"Is that even a compliment?" she asked, sarcasm I could tell from her tone. I smiled wryly.

"You've just known me like three years but for the first year that we've been together I knew you know me like the back of your hand". I decided to look at her and somehow...somehow I was keeping all the hurt inside especially the tears. "I've always wanted to talk to you but your aura tells me you don't want to".

"I never thought you'd give up like that", Fumi said, smiling wryly. "From what I've known your consistent on almost everything".

"Well what do you know, that goes the same for you too". I decided to gather my things and put them inside in my black sling bag. "You are kind of late, you know?"

Sighing, I heard her soft reply, "Yeah, I know". I stood up and sling the bag over my body and smiled at her.

"You don't have to worry everything's fine now".

"Demo Mai-"

"Just..."I was already at the door as I looked at her and added, "Don't forget to mail me when I arrived at England neh?" she nodded slowly to what I said as I left the room.

Two things that I've concluded before my defenses will crumble. One: I'm happy but that is only ninety percent of it. Two, ten percent is that it would be a long time before I can see her again. Oh well.

///

Author's Notes: Is writing out of her depression. Lolz...=]

Posted at 10:52 am by iceblueyes
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Aug 6, 2010
25 Random Things

1. An anime lover even though people would think that it is immature. Tch.
2. A writer-who is always looking for an inspiration. Always.
3. Loves to pair up impossible couples in anime and for her story whom people think it’s so impossible.
4. Is very emotional. Be careful of your words/actions before it’s too late.
5. Who doesn’t know how to control her temper and is still finding a way to control it.
6. One of the reasons that made me lose my temper is when I have the wrong impression about things/words. So do elaborate first what you want to say before my temper explodes.
7. For me listening to love songs sucks, I rather listen to break-up songs/heart breaking songs. Ironically speaking, I consider them love songs.
8. Listens and admires Japanese songs very well and ends up singing them in the end.
9. I love to read books.
10. I love reading historical romance.
11. Is a hopeless romantic.
12. A person who clings to the past and is afraid to let go.
13. Guy-o-phobia. Girls would understand what this means.
14. Wants to travel to Japan and England. I am wishing too much.
15. Knows how to play piano way back in second year high school but unfortunately forgets everything.
16. Wants to learn how to play the violin. Inspired from the anime La Corda D’Oro.
17. An amateur cosplayer.
18. Loves to watch horror movies. I’m scared on watching them but believe me I don’t want to show it. I love phenomenal stuffs.
19. I love red and black and no, please don’t think about emo.
20. I wrote poems but I don’t want people to read them. Don’t want them to get bored and majority of them are in the genre of unrequited love. Don’t ask me why though.
21. I love Cebu. I never wanted to live anywhere else except here. I’ll gladly live here forever and die here.
22. I love sweets but the problem is I crave for water afterwards.
23. I hate it when I act demure sometimes. Makes me think I’m a chit out of the schoolroom. Tch.
24. I love and hate rain at the same time because a long time ago a person made me feel that way about rain.
25. A person who is shy to express that love to other people and ends up showing it through her actions instead.

Posted at 11:01 am by iceblueyes
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Aug 5, 2010
Give Me A Reason

I remember that Kimberly Kaye Javier Atuel send me this text message way back first year college. Hai dear, I still remember. At least my memory is not getting hazy. Oh well, do enjoy...=]

Give me a reason to SMILE then a reason to CRY,

Give me a reason to DREAM then a reason to WAKE UP.

Give me a reason to FLOAT then a reason to SINK,

Give me a reason to SEE then a reason to be BLIND.

Give me a reason to LISTEN then a reason to go DEAF,

Give me a reason to SPEAK then a reason to SHUT UP.

Give me a reason to REMEMBER then a reason to FORGET,

Give me a reason to be STRONG then a reason to become WEAK.

Give me a reason to FALL IN LOVE then a reason to FALL OUT OF IT.

Posted at 03:41 am by iceblueyes
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Dear Love

Dear Love,

Who are you? You come in different faces and still I don't recognize who you are . You tell me to trust you but your absence makes it painful. You promise to make me happy but you give me heartaches when I hold on. You give me strength but you kill me gently. Are you really that blind not to see how much you make me suffer? You say you can move mountains but why can't you make me smile? You really are a mystery aren't you and I don't know who you are. I don't know if your good or bad. Do you know why? Cause when I try to feel you, it hurts...

Posted at 03:18 am by iceblueyes
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Someone

This was given by my friend. Do enjoy reading this quotes. Sometimes, we never know that SOMEONE is thinking about us...^^;

Someone is very proud of you...

Someone is thinking of you...

Someone cares about you...

Someone misses you...

Someone wants to talk to you...

Someone wants to be with you...

Someone hopes you aren't in trouble...

Someone is thankful for the support you have provided...

Someone wants to hold your hand...

Someone hopes everything turns out all right...

Someone wants you to be happy...

Someone wants you to find them...

Someone is celebrating your successes...

Someone wants to give you a gift...

Someone thinks you are a gift...

Someone hopes you are not too cold or too hot...

Someone wants to hug you...

Someone loves you...

Someone wants to lavish you with small gifts...

Someone admires your strength...

Someone is thinking of you and smiling...

Someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on...

Someone wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun...

Someone thinks the world of you...

Someone wants to protect you...

Someone would do anything for you...

Someone wants to be forgiven...

Someone is grateful for your forgiveness...

Someone wants to laugh with you about old times...

Someone remembers you and wishes you were there...

Someone needs to know that your love is unconditional...

Somebody values your advice...

Someone wants to tell you how much they care...

Someone wants to stay up watching old movies with you...

Someone wants to share their dreams with you...

Someone wants to hold you in their arms...

Someone wants you to hold them in your arms...

Someone treasures your spirit...

Someone wishes they could stop time because of you...

Someone can't wait to see you...

Someone wishes that things didn't have to change...

Someone loves you for who you are...

Someone loves the way you make them feel...

Someone wants to be with you...

Someone hears a song that reminds them of you...

Someone wants you to know they are there for you...

Someones is glad that your their friend...

Someone wants to be your friend...

Someone stayed up all night thinking about you...

Someone is alive because of you...

Someone is wishing that you would notice them...

Someone wants to get to know you better...

Someone believes that you are their soul mate...

Someone wants to be near you...

Someone misses your guidance and advice...

Someone values your guidance and advice...

Someone has faith in you...

Someone trusts you...

Someone needs you to send them this letter...

Someone needs your support...

Someone needs you to have faith in them...

Someone needs you to let them be your friend...

Posted at 03:15 am by iceblueyes
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Gravity

Hey love

I am a constant satellite

Of your blazing sun

My love I obey your law of gravity

This is the fate you’ve carved on me

The law of gravity

This is the fate you’ve carved on me

On me

     Somebody clapped when Lavinia was finish practicing her song for the upcoming competition. She looks to the door and saw her close friend, Kelvin, grinning at her. She smiled as Kelvin went to her. She stood up from her chair and began covering the piano. “Why are you here? I thought you were taking Rose home”, Lavinia began, facing him. “Aren’t you supposed to take your girlfriend home?” Kelvin shook his head in reply.

“I told her that I want to see you right now”, he replied as he looked at her with a wry smile. “That song Gravity, you always remember him when you listened to that song. I can’t believe that you’re gonna sing it for your upcoming competition this Friday”. He paused and tilts his head, adding, “He knew that you always remember him when you hear that song?” Lavinia shook her head and smiled sadly.

“You’re the only one who knew that I always remember him whenever I hear that song”. She walked to the window and saw the other students leaving the campus. “It’s been a month and I still can’t forget about him. I do envy you sometimes Kelvin. I wished that things didn’t end up between me and Arthur”.

“I think he is not the right guy for you after all”, he commented as he stood next to her, his back leaning at the wall. A sigh escape from his lips. “It’s been one month and still I never see your true smile”.

“T-True smile?” startled of what he said, she turned around and looked at him. “I don’t understand”.

“I haven’t seen you smiling for real”. He looked at her and smirks. “I’m not your best friend for nothing you know”.

“Oh, now I get it”. Her hazel brown eyes turned sober and look down. “It’s not easy to forget him just like that. I hope you understand”. Kelvin nodded but she didn’t saw it.

“You know this is all I could say: Love is like gravity, we are always pulled back. We can’t stay afloat for too long”. He looked at the ceiling and whistled. “As your best friend, I wish I could take away your pain. Even Rose is worried about you. She said there are many men out there and you don’t have to worry because you’re beautiful”. A slight laugh escapes from her lips.

“But we all know it’s not the beauty of the person we are after”. Slowly, his eyes look at her and smiled.

“No, it’s not”. She went to where her sling bag was and gets it.

“Actually, when I love it’s difficult for me to let go. It’ll take time for me to let go”. Lavinia paused as Kelvin waited for her next words. “I guess…we weren’t meant to be after all”. He went to her and patted her shoulder. She looked up at him. “Every night I cry for the pain. Kelvin, what should I do? I still love him…”

“I guess time can melt away the pain and your love for him. But if you want to stay in love with him, that’s okay. It’s either you’ll leave or you’ll stay”. He looked at his watch and noticed it was 5:30p.m.already. “Come on Lav, I’ll take you home. It’ll be dark soon”.

“Sure”, she said, absent mindedly as both of them walked out of the music room.

“One more thing Lav, just like your song Gravity, you need to fall to rise again and always learn to let go of things which are not meant for you. I know I suck at advices on love but I hope I cheer you up”. She smiled looking at him, one that was from her heart.

“Thanks for the help Kelvin. I appreciate it very much. Are you going watch my competition this Friday?” he pinched her cheek softly and grinned.

“You know I’ll be there to hear you sing”.

End.


Posted at 03:13 am by iceblueyes
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Sayonara Ai

Too hurt for the past few days, cried many times.

Too numb to feel love too.

When he asked me what I feel for him, I honestly told him I can't feel him anymore. But that doesn't mean that I don't love him...

Maybe I just need to spend time with myself and think of things. Especially what I feel for him.

Smiling wryly to myself, I didn't regret falling for him. I remember those times when I teased him and his cheeks turn pale red. I didn't expect to fall for him. And him falling for me at the end.

When I knew our feelings crossed, I was happy. I couldn't explain the happiness I felt inside. But how come...how come I couldn't feel him anymore?

Maybe because I'm busy for the past few days that I seldom talk to him. True, sort of. I'm already in Senior College and got so many things to do. Thesis is fast approaching...ugh...

As tears flow from my eyes, I wonder why would I bother to cry for him when I know that he never once wipe my tears.

I smiled wryly remembering that he hates it when I talk about suicide and "death" stuffs and now that we are on our separate ways, I know he wouldn't care if I slash myself or kill myself in the end. Why would he? Everything has come to an end.

Funny, that I didn't know I was his lover when I just thought that our feelings were mutual. I didn't think of myself as his girlfriend. And when he mentions the word break-up, I realized that I am his girl friend...after all...I guess...

I told him if I broke up with him that doesn't mean that I don't love him...like I used to...

It's just that my life is a mess right now...and I don't want him to worry too much...I want him to concentrate on important matters. I know he has his own problems to deal with.

I don't know if he's going to believe those words but I still love him...like I used to...I just don't want him to be hurt but I know he's hurt already...

I really wanted to be strong in his eyes...I see myself as the vulnerable one and he told me once, I was fragile...

But Kami-sama, why can't he wipe my tears whenever I cry? Guess...guess he's not the person to wipe my tears at all...he never did...

Bet he'll delete that song that made me remember of him and all those songs that I sent him. But I'll never delete the songs that he had given me. I'm not ready to let him go...

Love, goodbye for now...I need to heal myself but I won't expect you to feel the same for me when I'm already healed. Bet you'll fall for someone when I already did. And I'll be there to smile at you, congratulating you for finding that real love at last...

I still feel the same way...but I guess you'll never believe that...

Posted at 03:10 am by iceblueyes
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Stars

Dedicated to a friend of mine.


I watched the stars again,

Shining down upon you.

You look too good to be perfect,

And you look too good to be true.

I've seen that expression so many times,

And I've seen that look in your eyes.

I've already seen your eyes when they lost it's glow,

I've seen you sometimes hiding in your sorrow.

I was in the corner when I saw you falling in love,

I was also there when I saw you falling out of love.

But dearest star in heaven, why can't he see?

I guess he'll never know how much he means to me.

Stars are out again and I feel nothing,

I feel numb to the feeling he was giving.

Wishing star make my wish come true,

A part of me does not want to forget him,

If I fell in love with you.


Posted at 03:08 am by iceblueyes
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Healing

I was waiting, waiting for it to end,

Somehow I knew it would be this way.

I've waited for so long so that I couldn't feel this pain,

Because I don't want this pain to remain.

Maybe under the pouring rain you can say your goodbye,

Maybe under the pouring rain I'll try not to cry.

Of sweet words you said that rang in my head,

Of sweet songs you sang and some words left unsaid.

I was trying so hard to let go of this sorrow,

I was trying to convince myself I'll live through tomorrow.

This feeling that you would never feel,

And I still can't get over, that this is real.

I can only feel emptiness now, not even you can feel this,

I've tried so hard to forget the thoughts of you,

But sometimes late at night I don't know why I still think of you.

Dear angel, I need you to heal my pain,

Even though I know things would never be the same.

Posted at 03:05 am by iceblueyes
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Mr. Deja Vu

It was raining and it was cold. The jacket that I’m wearing didn’t help to warm my body as I hug myself, wishing that this small gesture would help and warm me, somehow. I was under the shelter, waiting for the bus to arrive and I was absent-mindedly looking at the pouring rain.

As cloudly water ebbs and flows, the sky seems ready to cry

Remembrance of days gone by leaves me cold beneath the surface

I smiled wryly hearing this song again and made me think of him. Ah yes, him. Mr. Déjà vu-that’s what I called him when I saw him the second time around. I don’t know why but the first time I saw him at the same convention that I attended to, I was drawn to him. At first I wasn’t sure why but I tried to find some answers and reasons and I did. I don’t understand why but I did.


On this long night, a single voice scatters the dawn with a sigh

I know I can never regain the time that has slipped away

The first time I saw him he was leaning his back on the bench, his arms crossed, his hazel eyes looking for someone, I noted. He has this kind of aura: calm, cool, collected. And that’s when I know those are the simple reasons why I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.


Mr. Deja vu, you aren't here

Since that day you became illusion

As I was looking at the event that I was watching I couldn’t help but look at my shoulder if he was still there. I stiffened when I saw that he passed by me and looked at me straight in the eyes. I wasn’t aware that my face was heating up and I hastily looked away. I tried myself not to slap my forehead right then and there for what just happened. But then again I wanted to see him before he leaves.


When I realized you were gone

The clock stood still, speak to me

For me it was like he was just an illusion that I’m not supposed to dwell for so long. One day-it was just one faithful day that I saw him and I was even tongue-tied when he have glanced at me. Just one day that a part of me will cherish for meeting a stranger like him. But Fate wanted to play games and I saw him for the second time around and when I did it’s as if time froze itself.


The bus had finally arrived as the door opened and I get in and seated near the window. The song was near to its end as I glanced at the pouring rain. I sighed and decided to sing along:


I couldn't even say goodbye

Don't let me be alone
Even if there is no eternity
I'll believe in the red thread

The second time I saw him, I didn’t like how Fate had been playing with us. I was contented to see him for just one day but when I saw him the second time around its like Fate is making me hope to see him…again…and I didn’t like it one bit and I hate wishing too much.


I smiled absent-mindedly. Oh well it was worth it anyway. I’ve already believed that the world is small but I never got to believe that phrase until I met him again, for the second time around-Mr. Déjà vu.


///

Author's Note: I used the English lyrics of the song because this song is Japanese and Red thread is a Japanese cultural reference. It is said that a red thread binds those who are destined lovers, usually wrapped around the pinky fingers of each party. To belive in the red thread is analogous to believing in soulmates.

Ah well this is just a fanfic anyway [mixed with a little bit of reality]. So I do hope at least you did enjoy reading it...=]


Song used: Mr. Deja Vu

Sung by: Naja
From the anime: Getbackers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlx8WnkURmQ

Posted at 01:50 am by iceblueyes
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